I wanted to write a blog about how to enjoy our own excitement. Hopefully it would help me work thru some issues I have pertaining to why my stomach ties up in paralyzing knots when I'm to do basically anything besides performing or playing music. Whenever I'm engaged in one of those activities, my nerves are still there, but they only feel intensified towards my goal. Things feel stronger; I feel things more strongly; I feel stronger, in all ways of interpretation.
From all my lessons in music from my many excellent teachers, it has been revealed to me that when we are afraid, we are simply experiencing a sensation that really is excitement. Even this simple reframing did wonders for me. Performing and playing music always seemed to feel good, even before I was particularly good at it. Some of others aspects of my life, however, hardly ever seemed to feel good. Like figuring out how to work an entertainment system...
This is obviously something that everyone experiences; self-doubt, being unsure. This is the natural experience that some of us have to moments of importance or greatness. I was an absolute mess as a test taker; I still am. Last year, when I reenrolled in university to complete my math requirement, I lost sleep constantly on nights before tests. It's unfortunate, however, that so many people equate moments of nervousness before great events as crippling anxieties. This is quintessentially having someone judge you according to a strict criteria. Fortunately for me, playing bass cannot be judged according to a strict criteria.
Fortunately for us, life cannot be judged that way either. If we can learn to appreciate and even love our fear, it can be channeled towards our heightened selves. Like preworkout.
Great events are opportunities to be great; we all know this. But nervousness is our body revealing to itself that is it ready to be great. These nervous feelings leave us excited, which is anticipation to be at the state of a most heightened awareness. I write a lot about being mindful and being in the moment; this is exactly what excitement precludes, if we let it. If we let our energy flow thru, it can fill us with the right stuff for what is to come. I believe that our body intelligence surpasses that of our mind's and in this case, I believe we should trust our bodies.
When I think of my greatest moments, there are always sickening moments of nervousness followed by my follow thru. And with practice it has become a habit loop for me; feel nervous, enjoy it, feel relaxed, feel heightened.
It all comes back to reacting to what our bodies tells us. We cannot ignore how feel beneath the surface, because this can be our greatest indicator. Like every other positive lesson I glean, I am much better at taking advantage of these feelings in my musical life. Nevertheless, I am striving towards responding to that sickly nervous feeling in my stomach with feelings of love and readiness. Bring it on.
always keep turning up,